The Moment of Disobedience

They race ahead of me, kicking up dust as they go. “Stop at the road!” I call. They hear me, but choose to keep racing anyway. I repeat myself more loudly, and with greater urgency, but still they choose to disobey. I jog towards them and break into a sprint when they get closer to the end of the sidewalk. Snapping at them I grab their hands and walk them across the road. 

On the other side, I point out what they should have done. They play in the dust for a few minutes till the jingle of the ice cream truck breaks through the stillness of the summer heat. 

On cue, two little voices yell “ICE CREAM TRUCK!!” and the begging begins. 

It is hot. I have money in my pocket and in spite of their disobedience, I would love to bless these two little boys with ice cream from the ice cream truck.

I am torn but I realize that a can not reward their disobedience with treats. 

Most times, my sense of justice overrides my desire to bless, bu today is different. I tell them no, they can’t have ice cream because they chose to not listen. They are sad, and I am too. I really want to give them a treat and it hurts me to not be able to. 

And then it occurs to me: Is this how my heavenly father feels when I disobey His calls? The job will get done but perhaps he wants to use me, and bless me for doing it. 

When I disobey His command, does He want to bless me, but withhold it because of my disobedience?

Does it hurt Him to have to withhold the blessing?