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Life In General

Things I Didn’t Appreciate About My Mother Until She Was Gone

Five years ago, my mom died.  

In those years, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve thought “Oh!  I need to tell Mom about — ” only to realize again that I won’t be able to do that in this lifetime.

I learned so much from my mother, but there are many things I didn’t appreciate until she wasn’t there anymore.  It’s true what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.

Things like …

The advice that I didn’t ask for but that I sorely needed.

Unsolicited advice is never on anyone’s wish list, but when you’ve got a mother that has your best interests at heart, you’d be smart to listen.  Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t.  But I probably should have more than I did.

Her wisdom, which cut to the core because it was so honest and true.

She had years of experience on me, had seen many more people deal with many more issues than me, and she’d seen the outcome of their choices, as well as dealing with her own.  She was far more wise than I gave her credit for.

Her unapologetic stance on anything that was important to her.

My mom’s disclaimer was always “This is my two cents.  You can take it or leave it.”  That may explain my affinity for the John Reuben song.  When she felt something needed to be said, she wasn’t afraid to put it out there.

Her no-questions-asked, sacrificial living because of her love for her family and others.

Sure, the cliched mother is the most giving person in our society, but my mom actually lived that way.

Her ability to see through my words (or lack of them) to the real heart of the matter.

Many moms seem to have this uncanny ability to read between the lines and get to what you’re thinking.  At least, mine did.

I had an amazing mother, and I know how much of a blessing that was.  Not everyone has that opportunity.  

But all moms, great and not-so-great, leave us with something, whether it’s how to live your life, or how not to live your life.

What do you appreciate most about your mother?


Article written by:

Megan is a WAHM to 3 (and then some) kids, who spends the majority of her time working as an Administrative Assistant, blogging and washing dishes. She loves to write about her adventures in parenting, running a home daycare, adoption and whatever else strikes her fancy!


  1. ChristianGal (@RealCouponDiva)

    still tryin to figure that out

    • Megan Elford

      I know that the mother/daughter relationship is tough for so many people. But I do believe that we learn something from everyone, and that in itself is worth appreciating :-).

  2. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    My mom is very sick and doesn’t have much time left, but she is so miserable from being sick, that it;s not easy to be with her right now.

  3. Lindsey

    I miss her! I love that she seemed so unaffected by others’ expectations. I’ll always remember the first time I went to your house in Cannington (I think it was with my parents when they were visiting Ontario, Micah wasn’t even there…I don’t even know if we were dating at that point!), and she had the table laid out with fancy china for our visit. I think my mom and your mom were trying to figure out whether Micah and I were related or not through the Raymers! Haha, thankfully not!! 🙂

    • Megan Elford

      I’m so glad you’re not related too! Or at least, I’m glad you’re not related by anything but marriage :-).

  4. loveforlacquer

    I appreciate my mom SO much.. she’s definitely my best friend .. I always appreciate her telling me straight up how it is!

  5. mrenkema79

    Aw, sorry about your mom. Thanks for the post – what a good reminder!!

  6. Mystic_Kitchen

    Great reminder! I am sorry to hear about your mom..I do appreciate my mom and all that she has done for me..we are very close 🙂

  7. crysta911

    Everything, she is kind and beautiful and my best friend.

  8. Sojourner Walker Williams

    her quiet grace and determination. beautiful post!

  9. Homeschooling in Nova Scotia

    My mom is always willing to help when she’s needed.

  10. Lisa Rios

    Great way to honor your mom. Most of us really don’t appreciate our loved ones when they are with us. My grandma passed away in all of a sudden few months back & I miss all she has done for me. It is very true that such incidents teach us how to live your life, or how not to live your life.

  11. Melinda@LookWhatMomFound...andDadtoo

    i love my mother so much and I try to show her. Thanks so much for sharing

  12. maggiesblog2

    My grandma raised me but my mother died in 2006 from cancer. But my grandma is my momma. I talk to her multiple times a day. Trying to soak all of it up, I will miss her more than anything if she leaves me. I’m so sorry about your momma.

  13. eliz frank

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your wise and caring mom. My mom was a great cook and had an adventurous spirit.

  14. Liz Mays

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because my mom has been plagued with mini strokes over the last year, two of them being this week. She is so incredibly dear to me. I loved reading your words about your mother.

  15. Chelley @ AisForAdelaide

    My mom is my world. My father passed when I was 13 and I’m terrified of losing my mom.

  16. tweenselmom

    Well I didn’t see that coming, learning from them how not to live the world. I think I’d be able to appreciate my mom more thinking of that 🙂

    • Megan Elford

      As much as I think my mom was pretty amazing, I know that no one is perfect. Moms are people too, and sometimes they have their own things to deal with. Still, amazing or not-so-much, I think we can learn something from every mom :-).

  17. Debi

    My mother and I never got along or was very close until after I moved out and started having kids of my own. Now my mom is my go to person to lean on and she is simply amazing

  18. Michelle

    Once you get to know your mother before she became “mom,” only then can you understand her as a woman. We do not get to choose our mothers, but we do have the choice to love them for who they were and who they are now. Life is short . . . talk to your moms, spend time with them, be there FOR them. Great post. . . . a good daughter you are!

    • Megan Elford

      You put it so well! I love that: “Once you get to know your mother before she became “mom”, only then can you understand her as a woman.”

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